& Party & Bullshit

Lately I've been spending g's like it ain't no thang.

I need to stop now, I'm seriously running out of funds... so much so I'm afraid I can't go to the UK. And I need to go there, for real.

I'm also stressing the fuck out about school. My brain is still on winter vacation, I swear. And for some reason I never have time to do homework. I need to stop going out. More specifically dining out. Even more specifically, paying for people. Becky still owes me $100.00!

I'm also stressing out about my physical appearance. The dude I'm seeing told me he didn't find me physically attractive. I was kind of bummed because he just called me ugly in a way. I admit, I knew he thought so... but did he have to tell me that he thought that way about me? I told him I didn't like the way he dressed and I felt super bad about that but... hmmmm. Josh says he's lying because he still has sex with me every freaking week but I just think he is just desperate and I'm the only girl that will sleep with him and until he finds someone else to do the deed with I will have to surfice.

I asked him if he was using me for sex and he said "no". But for some reason I don't believe him. This is like the Blain thing all over again except more nice since Blain and I never really talked when people were around. Haha. Nor did we really hang out one-on-one.

I am sick and all this stressing out probably won't make me feel any better. G'damn.

I need to lose weight. I need to find time for things. I need money. I need lots of things.